Bravery


Bill Burr who is a comedian, has a joke where he talks about bravery and how the minimal qualifying criteria for it has dropped. He talks about how the understanding of bravery has gone from jumping into burning buildings to saving lives, to people just talking about their traumas and feelings. The first time I heard it I chuckled, but upon further introspection, I realised that it’s not necessarily a dropping of standards but an expansion of the understanding of the word and what it means. 

Vulnerability requires a lot of bravery from you because you are allowing others to see something that cannot be perceived from the outside and only you are privy to it. They get an opportunity to see you naked without pretenses or facades. It also opens you up to a multitude of possibilities that could make life very uncomfortable for you going forward. When people find out something that happened to you or that you did, their perception of you changes and they view you in a different light. You are no longer just you, you are now you+ or you-. You go from "S’bu" to "S’bu who has…" or "S'bu that did…" The contents of your vulnerability affect all future interactions with the person you opened up to.

Understanding that bravery is more than just a physical activity helps you understand that supporting someone is more than just paying their bills. The same logic that says to be brave you must risk your life is the same logic that doesn’t understand why you are depressed with food in your stomach and a roof over your head. And it's also the same logic that conflates physical proximity with intimacy, where being around automatically means that your presence is felt.

Feeling anxious about telling your parents who you really are and what you are into is not childish, and sitting them down to talk to them is brave of you. Whatever the outcome, you should be proud of yourself for speaking up. Makhaya Ntini speaking about the racial discrimination he experienced as part of the national cricket team was an act of bravery. Phumla Gqola, the woman who found her voice and accused Makhaya Ntini of raping her was also brave. She was brave for coming forward against a nation’s hero even when the odds of her being believed were slim to none. Yes, a victim in one situation can be the perpetrator in another; your experiences do not excuse your transgressions towards others. 

Bravery is nothing more than the strength to face the daunting and attempt the difficult. Your personal demons require bravery from you and remember to clap for your acts of courage as loudly as you clap for those of others. 


Comments

  1. AnonymousJuly 19, 2020 at 12:33 PM

    From this, I understand that what may seem like doing the necessary for somebody may be my bravery. And that being vulnerable is being brave.❣️

    ReplyDelete

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