Relationships

For something that sustains us on a day-to-day basis, platonic relationships do not seem to receive enough appreciation. Romantic relationships often take precedence over them and I can see how that happens with the added element of intimacy. Western culture's obsession with romance since the days of Shakespeare’s writing, compounded with Hollywood’s obsession with meeting “the one” has not helped the case of platonic relationships. However, considering that most relationships we have are not romantic, we sure do overlook a significant portion of our lived experience. 

When people think of relationships, they often think of someone to hold hands with, cuddle with, and stroke your fragile ego. Those are romantic relationships, and they are only a fraction of relationships. If “relationships” were represented by 100%, romantic relationships would be less than 10% of that, and yet, they tend to receive 90% of our efforts. It is the non-romantic relationships with those around us that give us life and sustain us throughout our time on this floating rock in the middle of nowhere. The relationships we have with our parents, siblings, relatives, friends, neighbours, and colleagues often determine the quality of life we experience. Without warmth and love from those relationships, your crush thinking that you are cute means nothing, it’s like feeding a starving person cake; ask Marie Antoinette how that worked out for her. 

The love we share with friends and family often sets the tone for the type of love that we will share with our romantic partners. If you have never expressed your love and appreciation uncoerced to the people you’ve spent almost every day with for most of your life, how do you think you are going to magically know how to love someone you've recently met just because they are willing to hold your hand and call you handsome despite what your mirror says? 

There’s often a lack of effort with friendships versus intimate relationships as if friendships are not also a relationship that needs tending and nurturing like a garden. You take, take, take, and take without ever watering, adding fertilizer, or ensuring that your garden of love is free of pests. Your friends deserve the best of you too. They deserve the thoughtful, forgiving, and patient you that is usually reserved for (often undeserving) boyfriends and girlfriends. 
This is not an indictment of you as a person but that of you as a friend and of your understanding of relationships. The people that tide you over from failure to failure, lover to lover, and disappointment to disappointment deserve more from you. They deserve more of you. Being a friend is often a thankless job and no one likes ungrateful people. The love you wish to share with a spouse or partner one day is the love you can share today with your friends and family, minus the intimacy of course, incest is illegal and gross. You may not hold hands nor cuddle with them, but you can share tender moments and memories that will keep you warm through the coldest storms that life may throw at you. 

Comments

  1. UnknownJune 14, 2020 at 12:17 PM

    A friend shared this on their status, absolutely true what you're saying here!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sibusiso SpondoJune 14, 2020 at 3:42 PM

      Thank you to your friend for sharing this blog and thank you for reading it. I'm glad you enjoyed and hopefully I can write more pieces for you to enjoy.

      Delete
  2. Dj ApexJune 14, 2020 at 12:56 PM

    True that!!! Everybody needs to know about this. Love it ��

    ReplyDelete
  3. Antelopes13June 14, 2020 at 2:41 PM

    In my old age this becomes ever more apparent

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sibusiso SpondoJune 14, 2020 at 3:44 PM

      With age we start taking stock of our lives and we notice all that is missing. Thank you for reading and commenting.

      Delete
  4. AnonymousJune 14, 2020 at 3:27 PM

    A truth seldom spoken.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sibusiso SpondoJune 14, 2020 at 3:44 PM

      I'll keep trying to tell those truths, thank you for reading and for the comment.

      Delete
  5. UnknownJune 14, 2020 at 8:38 PM

    Wow, okay now this is pure gold!
    Please keep on doing what you doing this is so inspiring my friend. I'll share this

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sibusiso SpondoJune 14, 2020 at 11:04 PM

      Thank you, I'm not sure who yoh are but I'll try my best to give you the best content I can, even if it makes you uncomfortable.

      Delete

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