The Acne to my melanin

“Don’t applaud a fish for swimming.” It’s a saying that I come across often on social media, and I get it, fish are supposed to swim. With that being said, good behaviour is to be rewarded, and in a world where things can take a sharp turn very quickly, relatively smooth sailing is nothing to scoff at. People are ashamed to speak about the small things they appreciate in life, be it from loved ones or their own accomplishments; because how dare they make a mountain out of an ant hill? No matter how small it is to other people if something makes a difference in your life; you have every right to celebrate it. You don’t applaud a fish for swimming, but in an ocean where many have fallen victim to the perils of the deep; one that is alive and kicking is cause for celebration. It is the responsibility of a parent to provide the best life possible for their children, but you can still feel a sense of joy and pride when you see how your parent makes an effort to be there for you. You can...

In an interaction, where there is a recipient and a donor (yes that is the antonym of recipient), the burden of responsibility, of proof, is on the donor. It is the donor’s responsibility to ensure that the recipient actually receives what they are giving. It isn’t the customers’ responsibility to buy your product; it is yours to sell it to them. So sell it. It is the artists’ responsibility to reach their audience, not the audience's to accommodate the artist. It is the comedian’s responsibility to make the joke land, if the crowd doesn’t laugh then the comedian failed.  There is a pandemic of donors who forfeit their responsibility to the recipient, and then cry woe when the recipient doesn’t pick up what they dropped. Comedians from the last decade, and the one before have expressed their disdain for the “current generation” for being too sensitive. They say that the audience has lost their sense of humour, and they take everything too seriously. The people, whose job is to use ...

As an outsider, it is easier to see when someone else is struggling, especially when it’s a loved one. And the most difficult part of helping them is often just getting them to acknowledge that there is something happening.  Seeing a loved one struggle and not knowing how to help them is a difficult position to be in. Sometimes, the only way to help someone on their journey, is to invite them along for your own. To push them to face their demons may be asking for too much, and could possibly cause more harm than good. However, sharing your journey and letting them see you battle your demons can be the best thing you could do for them. After all, two cowards are braver than one.   People perceive things through a lens tinted with personal experience and bias; so witnessing someone else go through something and fight the good fight always brings one's thoughts back to their own battles. They can begin their journey of healing simply by seeing and understanding what someone ...

No one ever tells you how much healing hurts. No one tells you that on your journey, you will have to open up old wounds and address new ones. No one tells you about the shame of knowing better, but still being stuck in old routines. The shame and disgust you feel because you feel like you are failing yourself.  A perfect example of the difficult road to healing is the road to recovery from addiction. It’s not a simple straightforward process where you just quit whatever or whoever your substance of choice was. Recovery isn’t a linear process. Relapsing is part of the process and may happen multiple times. When it does happen, it often doesn’t feel as euphoric as it did back then. The substance is now tainted, laced with shame and disgust. Yet you will still use it. That’s when it hurts the most, when you are most likely to give up. It isn’t the substance that breaks your spirit; it’s the shame and self-loathing that creeps up on you and pulls you into darkness. That’s the unseen d...

We often see revolutionary acts as major events such as the Soweto Uprisings, Montgomery bus boycotts, and the Arab Spring. What we often overlook is that a revolutionary act can be an individual decision based on a political decision. And if you are wondering why everything has to be political, it’s because I’m black, my very existence is political.  A dark-skinned man intentionally choosing a dark-skinned woman in a world where dark skin is frowned upon and has been bred out of the population for centuries is a revolutionary act. A man with concerningly tight pants, blue hair, and piercings in unconventional places in a conservative, hyper-masculine society is a revolutionary act. There are a lot of defiant “small” actions, that you can decide upon in your life based on your beliefs that can be your flag in the sand to make your stand. In your life, the things you believe in and believe to be right, that you can do, are your responsibility.  "Some are born great, some achiev...

Emotions, like almost everything else, exist on a spectrum. They vary from overwhelming, chest-thumping joy, to earth-shattering heartbreak. There are far more emotions than happiness and sadness and we experience them all. Not acknowledging them does not change anything except hinder your ability to deal with them in a healthy manner. It is impossible for you to only experience pleasant emotions, and unpleasant emotions are more than just sadness and heartbreak; envy is a valid emotion too. Feeling envious of others is not a sign of witchcraft or cruel intentions. It is a perfectly normal and healthy response to seeing others be abundantly blessed while your well runs dry and it is not due to a lack of effort on your part.  Envy is not only a green monster that overwhelms you to experience feelings of hatred towards your pretty sister with glass slippers and a Harry Windsor of her own. It can simply be a “why can’t I have things come easily for me like so and so…”. If you are clos...